Newsletter for March 2009
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NEW CONTACT INFORMATION
HAFS
16506 FM 529 RD-115-Box 113
Houston, TX 77095
Tel. (281) 712-2676
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THE ROADMAP
TO FREEDOM
Can you believe anyone would be foolish
enough to take a trip to a place he had never
been before, and had no idea how to get there,
without asking for directions or studying a
roadmap before taking the journey? You’d
probably say, “Only a person without any sense
would do such a thing.” You’d be right! Yet
that’s just what I did!
I had discovered my same-sex attractions at
age twelve. I didn’t think too much about
them. I just hid them from everyone and hoped
they would go away. They didn’t. As a
teenager, I engaged in mutual masturbation
with some friends. For them it was just
experimental; for me it was something deeper,
something I couldn’t understand. At the same
time I was also masturbating to homosexual
fantasy several times a day. Fantasy became
obsession, obsession became acting out with
others, acting out became addiction, and
suddenly I realized I was out of control and
knew I had to get free.
So what did I do? Shame kept me for asking
anyone for help. I had no idea what was wrong
or how to go about setting it right. I lived
in a small town so I didn’t dare take out
books from the library on the subject—or even
look at them in the stacks because of my fear
of exposure.
By this time I had accepted Christ. so I
hoped somehow He would take this problem away.
I fasted, I prayed, I studied my Bible, I even
got married (in those days you were told that
just having normal sex would solve
everything)—all to no avail.
I started
acting out again and this led to blackmail and
when I wouldn’t pay, to being exposed and the
loss of nearly everything I held dear. In
despair I attempted suicide.
The
really wonderful thing in all this is that I
God had not forgotten me. I got sick at my
stomach and vomited enough of what I took so
that I ended up in the hospital instead of in
the morgue. Someone told me about Homosexuals
Anonymous.
I moved
to where there was a chapter and began getting
help. I received “The Roadmap to Freedom”
which you probably know as “The Fourteen
Steps of Homosexuals Anonymous.”
Here were
the directions I needed for the journey from
bondage to freedom!
Step 1
We admitted that we were powerless over our
homosexuality and that our emotional lives
were unmanageable
Step 2
We came to believe the love of God, who
forgave us and accepted us in spite of all
that we are and have done.
Step 3
We learned to see purpose in our suffering,
that our failed lives were under God's
control, who is able to bring good out of
trouble.
Step 4
We came to believe that God had already broken
the power of homosexuality and that He could
therefore restore our true personhood.
Step 5
We came to perceive that we had accepted a lie
about ourselves, an illusion that had trapped
us in a false identity.
Step 6
We learned to claim our true reality that, as
humankind, we are part of God's heterosexual
creation and that God calls us to rediscover
that identity in Him through Jesus Christ, as
our faith perceives Him.
Step 7
We resolved to entrust our lives to our loving
God and to live by faith, praising Him for our
new unseen identity, confident that it would
become visible to us in God's good time.
Step 8
As forgiven people, free from condemnation, we
made a searching and fearless moral inventory
of ourselves, determined to root out fear,
hidden hostility and contempt for the world
Step 9
We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to
another human being the exact nature of our
wrongs and humbly asked God to remove our
defects of character.
Step
10
We willingly made direct amends wherever wise
and possible to all people we had harmed.
Step 11
We determined to live no longer in fear of the
world, believing that God's victorious control
turns all that is against us into our favor,
bringing advantage out of sorrow and order
from disaster.
Step
12
We determined to mature in our
relationships with men and women, learning the
meaning of a partnership of equals, seeking
neither dominance over people nor servile
dependency on them.
Step 13
We sought, through confident praying and the
wisdom of Scripture, for an ongoing growth in
our relationship with God and a humble
acceptance of His guidance for our lives.
Step
14
Having had a spiritual awakening, we tried to
carry this message to people in homosexuality
with a love that demands nothing and to
practice these steps in all our lives'
activities, as far as lies within us.”
Did you
make the same mistake I did? Have you tried to
find freedom from homosexuality without
knowing how? Don’t feel bad. I was in that
same boat but I’m not in it any longer and you
don’t need to be stuck there either.
Or
perhaps you’ve wanted to get free but been
told the old chestnut, “Once gay...always
gay”, swallowed that propaganda, and been
afraid to try as a result because you’re
afraid you might not succeed. If so, listen to
these words from Dr. Ruben Fine, a
highly respected Jewish psychoanalyst, who
received his Ph.D. in clinical psychology from
the University of Southern California, was one
of the founding fathers and served as Director
of the New York Center for Psychoanalytic
Training, served as a Visiting Professor at
Adelphi University, founded the Division of
Psych-analysis of the American Psychological
Association (Division 39), and was
instrumental in the founding of the National
Psychological Association for Psychoanalysis
and the Institute for Psychoanalytic Training
and Research Center. He wrote, "I have
recently had occasion to review the results of
psychotherapy with homosexuals, and been
surprised by the findings. It is paradoxical
that even though the politically active
homosexual group denies the possibility of
change, all studies from Schrenck-Notzing on
have found positive effects, virtually
regardless of the kind of treatment used...”
[Ruben Fine, “Psychological Theory,” Male
and Female Homosexuality: Psychological
Approaches edited by Louis Diamant,
(Washington, D.C.: Hemisphere Publishing
Corporation, 1987), p. 84]. “Thus, whether
with hypnosis..., psycho-analysis of any
variety, educative psychotherapy, behavior
therapy, and/or simple educational procedures,
a considerable percentage of overt homosexuals
became hetero-sexual. Of course, only the
psychoanalytic cases are really understood,
since the others present no dynamic picture.
But it is striking that if the patients were
motivated, whatever procedure is adopted a
large percentage will give up their
homosexuality. In this connection public
information is of the greatest importance. The
misinformation spread by certain circles that
'homosexuality is untreatable by
psychotherapy' does incalculable harm to
thousands of men and women”
[Ibid., p. 85-86]
So come
on in! The water’s fine. Only do remember a
few facts. Reading a map, even carefully,
takes a relatively short period of time.
Traveling the road from Miami to New York City
takes considerably longer. Expect the freedom
you seek to take time.
Further,
just studying a map won’t get you to your
destination! While it is a necessary first
step, you’ve got to travel the highways the
map sets before you if you want to reach your
destination. So if you want to find freedom
from homosexuality, you’ve got to work the
steps.
How does
one do that? Here’s a start. Below are some
questions developed by Loring G. from Canada
to help you as you consider each step. Prepare
a worksheet by writing each step on a separate
piece of paper allowing enough space between
each question to write your answers. Start
with Step 1 today. You’re on your way!
QUESTIONS FOR WORKING THE STEPS
This
worksheet can be a helpful guide to working
through any of the steps.
(1) Rewrite
the step to make it personal by replacing all
references to "we", "our", and "us" with "I",
"my", and "me."
(2) In
your own words, write the one main thing the
step is asking you to do.
(3) What
is the significance of the order of this step
in the context of all 14 steps?
(4) How will taking this step specifically
help your relationships with:
(a) Yourself
(b)
God
(c) Other people
(5) Make
a list of three sub-steps you plan to take (or
have already taken) to help you accomplish the
requirements of this main step.
(a)
(b)
(c)
(6) State
two factors that make it difficult to take
this step. Beside each one, briefly explain
how this obstacle can be overcome so the step
can be taken:
Problem
Solution
Problem
Solution
(7) To
take this step, what kind of assistance do you
need:
(a) from God?
(b) from other people?
(c) from reference materials?
(8) Write about
something encouraging from the Bible, from
psychology, from your own life experiences, or
elsewhere that applies to taking this step.
Someone is bound
to ask, “Is that all there is to it? Sorry.
The answer is no! This is just the first leg
of your journey. But don’t be disheartened. It
is the first leg! You are moving. You are
getting close to the destination you have sent
for yourself. Keep traveling on!
--John
J., Reading, PA
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“The
road to sobriety, mental health, and
contentment is not a journey away from
something or someone. It is a journey into
yourself.
“It is
an adventure in which you discover how the
mysteries of your feelings and past
experiences intertwine with your present life
to weave the beautiful tapestry that is you.
The
journey is difficult and tedious, and your
rewards will be in direct proportion to your
efforts towards
self-discovery.” --Dianne H.
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A WORD TO THE WISE!
“An
easy-going attitude to sin is always
dangerous. It has been said that our one
security against sin lies in our being shocked
at it. Carlyle said that men must see the
infinite beauty of holiness and the infinite
damnability of sin. When we cease to take a
serious view of sin we are in a perilous
position. It is not a question of being
critical and condemnatory; it is a question of
being wounded and shocked and hurt. It was sin
that crucified Jesus Christ; it was to free
men from sin that Christ died. No Christian
man can take an easy-going view of sin.”
[William Barclay, “The Letters to the
Corinthians, The Daily Bible Study,
(Philadelphia: The Westminster Press, 1956),
p. 49]
WE
GET LETTERS
One of
the great encouragements in this ministry is
the letters we receive from people who are
either getting or have gotten help from the
ministry. Consider this letter we received
some time ago from a young man in Africa:
“Warm
Christian greetings to you from the depth of
my heart.... I thank God for making it
possible...to come into contact with you...
“Your
mailings...have helped me a lot. At first I
felt unloved, lonely and stranded. I was
chased out of the church that I served
faithfully for eight years of my salvation
after I told them about my...homosexual
feelings. After the incident I felt hopeless,
useless, and I felt that my existence in this
world was just for pain, hurt, problems and
troubles. I thought several times about
committing suicide. But God...whispered always
in my heart that I must never give up on life,
at the right time God will deliver me from
homosexuality.
“The 14 Steps...have helped me to know the
facts about homosexuality in my life and to
know that God loves me.... He has already
dealt with and broken the powers of
homosexuality so that I can be a free person.
What I have to do is just to apply these facts
in my life.
“I love you very much. You have been a great
help to me. May God bless you richly.”
If you are walking with Christ along the road
that leads to freedom, you are in fellowship
with this man and hundreds of others just like
him. You are not alone!
And those of you who have prayed for and
given to support this ministry are a vital
part of the blessings which he and countless
others have been receiving. God bless you!
A POINT TO PONDER
“It takes twenty years to build a reputation
and five minutes to ruin it. If you think
about that, you’ll do things differently.”
Warren Buffett
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HA CONFERENCE
OCTOBER 2-3
“STRAIGHT TALK”
“An
educational conference for anyone dealing with
the realities of same sex attraction”
Is being planned
for the first weekend in October. The
conference will be presented by some of the
best minds in the fields of recovery from SSA.
Presenters include:
·
Arthur Goldberg
·
Richard Cohen
· Greg
Quinlan
·
Janelle Hallman
Several other
prominent speakers will be invited.
This should be
one of the best conferences ever held that
deals with the subjects from a “Straight Talk”
perspective
Several workshops for those needing help with
specific areas of dealing with SSA including:
·
Families
·
Pastors
·
Churches
·
Counselors
·
Strugglers
·
Aids
·
Abuse
We will keep you informed as to cost,
accommodations and transportation.
Keep this weekend open on your calendar and
we will see you there!!
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UPDATE FROM DOUG M.
“OPERATION TREASURE”
New outreach
material will be available from the HAFS
office beginning the week of March 5, 2009.
“Treasure” is
a single DVD playable on most computers and
contains a reference source for Pastors,
Teachers, Youth Leaders and Parents that
includes four hours of lectures and many
articles in written form covering all aspects
of SSA.
We designed
this DVD to be a reference source that will be
easily accessible to anyone needing to address
these issues.
THE TITLES
INCLUDE:
1.
Dear
Pastor I’m Gay
2.
Dear
Church I’m Gay
3.
Dear
Mom I’m gay
4.
I’m gay
what do I do now?
We feel that
every Pastor, Teacher, Church, Christian
school and family struggling with the issues
of SSA in the United States needs this
resource material immediately.
WE ARE
MAKING THIS DVD AVAILABLE FREE OF CHARGE TO
ANYONE YOU WANT US TO
SEND IT TO.
Please
send us a list of places to send “Treasure”
and we will get it out to them immediately.
I am
sure you realize there is a cost involved in
this project, however we feel the Lord will
provide funds from those who have a heart for
this type of outreach Some matching funds have
already been provided and we feel that as
others are moved to contribute to this
specific project we will be able to spread the
DVD’s to the entire country.
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THANK YOU FOR
YOUR RESPONSE TO THE “TREASURES” PROJECT
We have already
distributed over 500 units. Please keep those
names coming!!!
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TWO NEW GROUPS
HAVE BEEN ADDED TO THE CHAPTER LIST.
Washington, DC
Nashville,
TN
